A Very Avengers Christmas
by glassfacet
Summary: A part of the Triviaglass 'verse. Falls after "The Almost Elopement of Jane &Thor". It's Christmas Eve, and most of the Avengers get called away. Natasha, Darcy and a very pregnant Pepper are left preparing Christmas dinner. Some gifts are just surprises.
1. Deck the Halls

Deck the Halls

"Pepper?" called Tony, bursting into their dining room. Pepper looked over at him from her seat on her favourite reading chair. "There you are."

"Where else did you expect me to be?" said Pepper archly. "Your babies are killing me. I'm pretty sure they get their jollies by kicking my diaphragm and my bladder at the same time."

"I wouldn't be surprised," said Tony. Pepper glared at him. "Look, Pep, we just got a call. Emergency distress thing that requires the Avengers. Natashalie's staying here – Dr Banner's orders – so she'll keep you company. And Darcy's on the local bus on her way over from the airport."

"Well, thanks for telling me before you go haring off into a war zone," said Pepper. "Try not to get yourself killed, okay Tony? It's Christmas Eve."

"We're aiming to be back by five," said Tony, kissing Pepper. "I won't let a disaster ruin our Christmas dinner. Not after all the planning we've had to do for it."

"You'd better not," threatened Pepper. "Now get going so you can come back."

"I love you," said Tony. He dashed out of the room before she could reply.

"Only the Avengers get called in to work, last minute, at nine in the morning on Christmas Eve," said Pepper. "I'm telling you, babies, your daddy is completely nuts."

"Aren't we all?" asked Natasha as she waltzed into the room, carefully balancing a stack of Pepper's good china against her chest. "I thought I'd come in and sit with you for a while."

"Thanks," said Pepper. "You're not mad about being left behind?"

"Not really," said Natasha with a little shrug. "I did break my fibula, so my balance is a bit off. Besides, Tony's been whiny lately, and if I go I'll probably shoot him just to put all of us out of our misery." She put the plates down on the table and flopped onto the loveseat.

"I was wondering why you weren't wearing heels," said Pepper. "My lower back is really sore. Like, more than usual."

"Hmm," said Natasha. "Perhaps it's a suggestion of what you're getting for Christmas."

"Is Tony building me an on-site spa?" asked Pepper. "With all the features and perks of the best spas in the world? Because I need to relax. It isn't easy being the head of Stark Industries _and_ being Tony's handler."

"I can imagine," said Natasha. "It's difficult enough being his teammate and watchdog."

"Madam, a Darcy Lewis is at the door," JARVIS politely interrupted. "Are you expecting such a person?"

"Yes, I am, JARVIS," said Pepper. "Are you two having a fight or something? Last time I checked, you really liked her."

"I do," said JARVIS. "I am attempting to develop a sense of humour. It does not seem to be going well."

"Oh," said Pepper. "These things take time, JARVIS. Keep trying, and I'm sure you'll be hilarious in no time."

"Was that meant as a joke?" enquired JARVIS. Pepper and Natasha laughed at the long-suffering mecha-butler's quip. Darcy wandered into the room to find them gasping for air.

"Stop laughing, stop it, you'll make me pee!" Pepper choked out. Natasha laughed harder.

"So, does anybody want to share the joke?" asked Darcy, setting her bag down.

"JARVIS is attempting to develop a sense of humour," said Natasha. "It's going better than the poor thing expects."

"How was your trip over?" asked Pepper.

"Snowy and slushy," said Darcy. "The public transit system does _not_ go out here for some reason."

"That's because Tony owns most of the land out here," said Pepper. "I think he wanted to start a vineyard and have his own vintages. I talked him into leaving trees alone for privacy."

"Smart move," said Darcy, nodding. "Paparazzi can be relentless."

"So, are we having turkey or ham for dinner?" asked Natasha. "Because as fun as this is, I refuse to be the person who tells the on-field Avengers that there is no dinner."

"The turkey's in the kitchen sink," said Pepper. "I have no idea what to do beyond defrost it."

"I'll handle the turkey," said Darcy firmly. "Natasha, are you making borscht?"

"It would appear so," said Natasha. "And vegetable curry. Are you good with curry, Pepper?"

"I think so," said Pepper. "I mean, I'm not throwing up anymore. And spicy things are good for your cholesterol."

"Oh, really?" said Darcy. "And I just thought guys ate spicy stuff for macho factor."

"They do," said Natasha. "But we don't have to make it spicy."

"What the heck is the point of not-spicy curry?!" said Darcy. "That's like having turkey without stuffing or cranberry sauce."

"We don't have cranberry sauce," said Pepper. Darcy stared at her blankly.

"Do you have fresh cranberries and sugar?" asked Darcy.

"No," said Pepper slowly. "JARVIS, call the nearest grocery store and ask them to deliver fifteen pounds of fresh cranberries. And a bag of refined sugar."

"Yes, Madam," said JARVIS. "Will that be all?"

"I think so," said Darcy. "Pepper, why don't you make the cranberry sauce? It's really quick and really easy."

"Okay," said Pepper. "Where do I start?"

"With cranberries," said Darcy. "Where else, Boss Lady?"


	2. I'll be Home for Christmas

I'll be Home for Christmas

It was ten after five when the other Avengers came back. They were filthy, slightly injured, and starving. Bruce was conspicuously missing his shirt and most of his pants. Tony's suit desperately needed repairs and was throwing off sparks. Steve looked like he'd been electrocuted and lit on fire, which meant he probably had been. Clint's string fingers were bleeding and he had the beginnings of a beautiful black eye. They all trouped into the sitting room to say hello to Pepper, Darcy and Natasha.

What they found was almost absurdly normal. Natasha was teaching Darcy various self defence moves that did not involve tasers. Pepper was curled up on the loveseat, filming her friends and providing a running commentary on Natasha's teaching style, Darcy's enthusiasm, and the aches and pains of pregnancy.

"Pepper, I'm home," said Tony. Pepper swivelled the camera to take in the men in the doorway.

"And so, the Avengers triumphantly return," said Pepper. "A bit battered, but still mostly in one piece. And probably hungry. Good thing dinner's pretty much ready."

"How did it go without me?" asked Natasha.

"Not as well as it would have gone with you there, Natashalie," said Tony. "But we managed."

"I thought I told you to rest," said Bruce with a little frown. "That doesn't look like resting to me."

"I'm wearing the walking cast you gave me," protested Natasha. "Besides, someone had to make borsht and curry. Pepper's been a bit achy. And every girl should know how to take care of herself."

"I just don't want you to aggravate it," said Bruce. "Your recovery will be longer, and I know that will annoy you. So take it easy for a bit."

"Whatever the doctor orders," said Natasha a bit suggestively. Bruce blushed slightly.

"We should probably get all cleaned up," said Steve, uncomfortable.

"Dibs on the master bathroom," said Tony immediately.

"We figured," said Clint, an arm around Darcy.

"Show them to the guest suites," said Pepper. "They'll be staying there until New Year's anyway. Before you shower, please."

"Yes, Pepper," said Tony, kissing his wife's forehead. "I'll be sure to do that."

"You'd better," said Pepper, "or I'm siccing Darcy on you!"

"Not Natasha?" said Steve.

"She's under _Dr Banner's_ orders to rest," said Pepper smugly. "I can't ask her to aggravate her injury and make him worry over her, can I?"

"Point," said Steve. Almost everyone else nodded.

"I don't get it," said Bruce. "Can someone please let me in on the joke?"

"Maybe when you're older," said Tony, throwing an arm around Bruce's shoulders, "and when Natashalie's feeling up to it. Come on, I'll show you to baths."

"And there go our returning heroes," said Pepper, training the camera on her retreating husband and his friends. "A little worse for wear, but alive, in one piece, and mostly wearing their clothes. It's a Christmas miracle!"

"Don't bet on it being the only one," muttered Natasha. "There are probably going to be more surprises before Orthodox Christmas than there are pears under the partridge."

"We're having turkey, Nat, not partridge," said Darcy. "It's a Christmas tradition."

"And I thought that people traditionally ate ham at Christmas," said Pepper, still filming. "Just goes to show, right?"

"Not if you're Jewish you don't," said Darcy.

"If you're Jewish, then you're not celebrating Christmas," Natasha reminded her. "You're celebrating Chanukah, which seems more fun and not quite so somber or commercialized."

"Maybe we should do that next year," said Pepper. "I'd miss the tree though."

"I don't see why we can't do both," said Darcy. "And I think the turkey's just about done."

Reluctantly, Pepper turned her video camera off. Natasha draped herself over a chaise in one of the corners, while Darcy swore at the turkey for not being done yet, at the roasting pan for burning her fingers, and at Natasha's borsht for smelling so good.

"Wear oven mitts next time," Pepper advised Darcy as she returned to the living room.

"If I could find oven mitts in your fancy-ass kitchen," grumbled Darcy, "I wouldn't have burned myself in the first place."

"JARVIS," said Pepper, "do we even own oven mitts?"

"I believe not," said JARVIS, "though I am not entirely sure, as I do not spend my time in the kitchen cooking."

"Neither do I, really," said Pepper. "I need to start spending more time here. Maybe when the babies come, I'll talk Tony into staying here more often."

"I read somewhere that it's healthier for kids to have one place to call home," said Natasha, "because it helps them develop attachments properly. And you and Tony both need some measure of stability as well. It'll keep you both sane and grounded."

"Whoa, you know a lot," said Darcy.

"You'll get you're sane-and-stable ending, Natashalie," said Pepper. "Dr B will come around."

"And you think that'll be sane and stable?" snorted Natasha.

"So, to interrupt the girl talk," said Tony as he walked in and flopped on the loveseat beside Pepper, "when's dinner?"

"What, you didn't stop for shwarmas this time?" asked Pepper.

"No," said Tony. "I thought you'd be mad at me if I spoil my appetite."

"Damn right I would be," said Pepper.

"So, dinner?" said Tony.

"Did someone say dinner?" asked Steve, uncomfortable in his civilian clothes. "It's been a long time since I've had a good old fashioned turkey dinner for Christmas."

"It's not exactly going to be old fashioned," said Natasha.

"No guarantees it'll be good either," said Darcy.

"It's a Butterball," said Pepper impatiently. "They're impossible to mess up. It's part of the product's guarantee. No way is the turkey going to be bad."

"And the borsht and curry?" said Darcy.

"We're having borsht and curry for Christmas dinner?"asked Bruce, peeking around the doorway while towelling his hair dry. "Who thought of that?"

"I believe it was your idea to have vegetable curry," said Tony. "What I'm curious about is that Natashalie can cook."

"You pick up strange things over time," said Natasha with a shrug. "Clint, stop hiding behind the ficcus. We all know you're there."

"I didn't know he was there," muttered Pepper.

"Caught again," said Clint, shaking his head as he seated himself on the floor in front of Darcy. "You're too good at hide and seek Natasha."

"I know," said Natasha, glaring at Clint. He took the hint and swallowed his next thought.

"Something smells like it's burning," commented Tony.

"My turkey!" cried Darcy. Clint, who was leaning on Darcy's legs, was sent sprawling as Darcy raced to save the turkey from overcooking. Clint's mouth dropped open in a credible imitation of a fish. Seeing the master assassin so stunned surprised a laugh out of everyone else.

"You look ridiculous," Tony informed him through his laughter.

"It's been ages since someone's surprised you like that!" cackled Natasha.

"Don't remind me," muttered Clint, collecting the shards of his dignity from the floor. "I'm going to see if Darce needs any help with the turkey."

"Why don't we all move to the dining room and get ourselves settled?" suggested Steve. "Clint and Darcy seem to have serving the food taken care of."

"Sounds good," said Natasha, unfolding herself from the chaise and sauntering to the dining room, brushing suggestively against Bruce as she went.

"Pepper, are you alright?" asked Tony, a bit alarmed.

Pepper nodded. "I'm fine. Just a little cramp. I wasn't expecting it, that's all."

"If you're sure," said Tony with a concerned frown. "Tell me if you don't feel well over dinner, okay? You just went really pale."

"It was probably the babies moving into birth position," said Bruce. "They do sometimes shift in the days before delivery. Have you felt them move lately?"

"Yeah, they've been doing gymnastics," said Pepper.

"Then they're probably fighting over who goes first," said Bruce.

"Is everything okay over here?" asked Steve.

"The babies are doing some dancing," Tony told him. "We're on our way to the table now."

"I'm really fine," Pepper assured him, noting that Steve's concerned expression hadn't changed. "Thanks for asking."

Tony, Pepper and Bruce followed Steve into the dining room, where the oval table glittered with beautiful china and crystalwear. Bruce and Steve stared at it, briefly blinded by the glitter. Tony and Pepper giggled at their expressions as they made their way around the table. Natasha offered a little smile from the seat where she was curled up.

"You seriously made borscht, Nat?" said Clint, carrying in a large serving bowl full of the soup in question. "Is it edible?"

"Of course it is," said Natasha. "It's not Christmas without borscht crackers."

"The curry smells really good," said Steve, sitting at the opposite end of the table from Natasha.

"You got the recipe from my landlady in Raipur, didn't you?" said Bruce. "It smells and looks exactly the same as hers."

"I asked for it while you were packing your stuff," said Natasha with a shrug. "I thought it might be useful for luring you back in case you went missing again."

"Very thoughtful," said Bruce, grimacing.

"Ah!" said Pepper. Everyone turned to look at her. "Don't bother sitting down Tony. My water just broke."

"Please don't tell me that you're having the babies right here in the dining room," pleaded Tony. "It's not sanitary."

"What's going on?" asked Darcy, carrying in the expertly carved turkey on a Ming platter.

"Listen up," barked Natasha, getting out of her seat. "Steve and Tony, escort Pepper to the door and get her coat and shoes on. Bruce, go upstairs and find the hospital bag and Pepper's purse. Clint, find a car in the garage that's big enough for the expecting parents, the hospital bag you and Steve and has four doors. You're driving. Darcy, help me pack up the food. We're taking this party to the maternity ward. Move it!"

In the scramble to obey Natasha's directions, Darcy made her way over to the mission-mode Widow. She asked, "So, supreme commander, how're we going to get all this food to the hospital?"

"Simple," said Natasha. "I'll drive. You'll navigate me there. And Bruce will sit in the back, clutching the food for dear life."


	3. The Gift

The Gift

Clint was waiting in the parking lot for them when Natasha, with the artistry of a professional stunt driver, wove through the parking lot and drifted to a stop in a parking space. It took the three of them ten minutes to pry Bruce's arms off of the box of food that he was clinging to for dear life. Eventually, Darcy just carried in the food while Clint and Natasha carried Bruce in between them.

The maternity ward waiting room was surprisingly empty. Tony and Steve had apparently commandeered a few long rectangular coffee tables and used them to make a square table. Tony and Pepper were walking circles around it, Pepper attempting to break Tony's arm, and Tony attempting to be soothing.

"Food's here!" announced Darcy. "Hey Boss Lady, how's it going?"

"I'm never doing this again," said Pepper through gritted teeth. "You'd better appreciate this Tony!"

"I do," said Tony. "I appreciate you more and more every day. I appreciate you running my company. I appreciate you refilling my bar whenever it starts to run dry. I appreciate how wonderful you look without makeup or plastic surgery, because seriously? So many people overdo it. That was my foot, Pepper, not the floor."

"I'm sharing the pain, damn it!" snapped Pepper.

"I appreciate your generosity," said Tony with a straight face. "Seriously. I can't imagine being in your shoes and still having the heart to share with other people."

"Give me your sock, Clint," said Natasha. "It should be smelly enough. Bruce is missing out on all the fun, and I want to wake him up."

"Can't we draw on him with washable markers first?" asked Darcy.

"Do you have washable markers with you?" asked Clint curiously. Darcy poked around inside her purse for a few minutes.

"Apparently, they're in my other purse," said Darcy with a pout. "Which makes sense, cause that's my party purse. There's usually someone to draw on at college parties."

"Sock, Clint," said Natasha. "Now, please."

"Is it sad that this is almost adorable?" said Steve to no one in particular.

"It just means that you're getting used to Natasha," Tony informed him. "And it's Christmas. And we're all going to spend it here in the maternity wing. It wouldn't be an Avengers get-together without someone going to the hospital, now would it?"

"I hate your _guts_ Tony," said Pepper.

"No you don't," said Tony. "By the way, your office is being remodeled. The Malibu one, not the New York one. I'm putting in a nursery, and I've screened some nannies, so if you feel like sleeping through the night, there'll be someone there for the babies."

"That's reassuring," said Pepper. "How did you screen the nannies, exactly? It'll take my mind off the pain, so tell me."

"I hacked Interpol," said Tony, "and cross-referenced images of the candidates. And I asked Natasha to help. They're all completely clean. No police records, no history of drug addiction. Lovely, stable people. Erm, one of our nannies is a man."

"You're so thoughtful," said Pepper.

"Not really," said Tony. "He did fit the requirements just as well as the other two. I'm all for equal opportunity in employment."

"Does this mean that I'm getting a male secretary for my birthday?" asked Pepper.

"Probably not," said Tony. "Steve, could we get a couple of glasses of water? Pepper's sweating pretty hard. Let's not dehydrate here."

"I'll see what I can find," said Steve, taking off down the hall in search of a water cooler. Tony and Pepper continued their laps around the coffee tables. Clint handed Natasha his sock and was dragged off by Darcy to find a suitable supply cupboard. As soon as Natasha waved the sock under Bruce's nose, he sat bolt upright.

"But I didn't join the Varsity soccer team!" said Bruce with wide eyes. He blinked, realized where he was, and turned crimson. "Hi Natasha. Could you get off of my lap please?"

"But it's comfy here," said Natasha. She got up and began pulling Tupperware out of the food box; one of these boxes appeared to be the plates wrapped in the tablecloth and napkins. Bruce peeled himself off the floor and shuffled over to the coffee tables, setting the table from the Tupperware handed to him by Natasha. She reached the bottom of the box and frowned.

"Shit," said Natasha halfheartedly.

"What's wrong?" asked Bruce, edging away from Natasha a little bit.

"I forgot to pack drinks," said Natasha. "There is no alcohol. There is no non-alcohol. There is, however, food."

"Here, Natashalie," said Tony, handing her a plastic card. "It's my debit card. The PIN is 8669. Buy whatever you want, however much you want. Don't worry about responsible."

"Your PIN spells your name?" said Pepper incredulously. "Really Tony?"

"Pepper was too long," said Tony. "And I'll never forget it. Drinks, Natashalie?"

"Can do," said Natasha with a crafty little smirk. "Come on, Bruce, let's go find stuff to drink."

"I'm driving this time," said Bruce, following her out to where she'd parked the car. Steve walked back into the waiting room carrying a case of bottled water. Noticing the lack of Natasha, he visibly relaxed. He set the case down at one end of the coffee table and cracked open a bottle. Pepper gratefully accepted it and gulped the water down.

"It's not cold," said Steve apologetically, "but it is liquid. Where did everyone go?"

"Great question," said Tony. "Natashalie's on an errand run with Bruce. We're counting it as their first date. And Clint and Darcy are playing storage closet bingo."

"May they never forget birth control," said Pepper. "Where the _fuck_ is the doctor?"

"I believe that he's just been kidnapped by our favourite spy," said Tony cheerfully. "He'll be back soon."

"Not Bruce," snapped Pepper. "My OB. I need to know how much longer this is going to take."

"How much longer what's going to take?" asked a very dishevelled Darcy, returning with an equally dishevelled Clint. "Oh hey, the food's out. Where did Queen Kung Fu go?"

"She ran off with Dr Banner and Tony's debit card," said Steve. "We think she'll be back soon."

"Hacked into the PA system," said Clint, staring at the screen of his phone. "I think I sent an urgent page for your doctor. He'll be here soon."

"Excellent," said Pepper. She dragged Tony over to the nearest chair and sat down heavily in it. Tony sat next to her and wisely kept his mouth shut for once. He handed Pepper her water bottle, and she drained it.

The doors flew open and a team of medical professionals stormed in. Spotting Pepper, they unceremoniously pushed Tony out of the way and began checking Pepper's pulse and breathing. Steve and Clint helped Tony up and hauled him to a chair on the other side of the room, leaving Pepper to fend off her obstetrician, a midwife, and two nurses, all eager to help make her comfortable.

"Is this the part where I start to feel guilty?" asked Tony.

"Probably," said Clint. The three of them watched as Pepper was carefully shifted onto a gurney and wheeled into a nearby room, her delivery team in tow. Tentatively, Tony, Clint and Steve inched their way over to the doorway to watch what was going on. Darcy frantically sent out text messages, cursing softly when some of them wouldn't go through.

"I come bearing drinks!" announced Natasha, carrying in several plastic bags worth of juices. "Oh, did the main event begin while we were gone?"

"What did you pick up, Kung Fu Queen?" asked Darcy, peeking at the bags.

"We weren't sure what people liked," said Bruce apologetically, "so we got one of everything in the juice aisle. And we picked up some champagne for when the babies actually arrive."

"We got the good stuff," said Natasha. "Dom Perrignon champagne is amazing, and so hard to find."

"You guys went all out," said Darcy, impressed. "This is going to be a great party!"

"Did you bring a camera?" asked Tony. "Cause if you did, we can take silly pictures all night. It can be the beginning of a family album."

"I got everyone their own disposable camera," said Natasha, passing around the cardboard packages to the gathered Avengers.

By the time the Stark twins made their appearance, the Avengers had managed to make a complete mess of the waiting room. Dinner had turned into a food fight when Tony had mistakenly teased Darcy about her PoliSci program and Darcy had responded with a forkful of curry. The curry had hit its intended target; Tony's dinner roll missed Darcy and hit Clint instead. Tony then hid behind Steve, who intercepted Clint's drumstick on its way to Tony. Someone spilled borscht down Natasha's shirt. Bruce stepped out of the lines of fire and took pictures of his teammates and friends. The food fight stopped when a nurse came out and informed them that Pepper demanded that they behave.

And they managed for about twenty minutes. And then, in a misguided attempt at helping Natasha out, Clint suggested a game of Dare. Not Truth or Dare, because that was boring and depressing, so just Dare. Clint got Tony to do an on the spot comedy routine in Pepper's room, which had her in stitches and helped her dilate a whole centimetre. Tony had Steve tell jokes from the Thirties. Steve got Darcy to do a handstand, and she somehow ended up doing an entire floor routine from when she was six. Darcy had Bruce sing the periodic table song. Bruce got Clint to breakdance. And then Clint dared Natasha to kiss Bruce.

"Is this punishment for the breakdancing?" asked Bruce.

"I wasn't aware that you're a part-time Cupid," said Darcy, elbowing her archer. He shrugged, watching his best friend eye their teammate. Natasha looked like a cat ready to spring; Bruce looked like a frightened mouse trying to figure out how to get away. Natasha got up and stalked across the room, a predatory grin on her face. Bruce made a desperate attempt to run for the door, and slipped on a bit of cabbage in the doorway to Pepper's room. He went down, landing hard on his back.

Immediately, Natasha pounced, sliding across the linoleum to kiss Bruce upside down. Clint snapped a photo of the moment of the kiss, and the moment after. Bruce was faintly pink, and looked like he was trying to decide whether he liked the kiss or not. Natasha looked like a little girl who had just gotten exactly what she wanted for Christmas. Pepper and the delivery team watched with amusement.

"Well that was fun," said Steve. "I've never played Dare before."

"We should probably clean up some of the food fight, though," said Bruce. "It's Christmas, and the custodial staff deserve their time off."

"Right," said Darcy. "Hey, Clint and I found a closet full of cleaning supplies earlier."

"And off we go to save the world again," said Natasha.

"From what, the evils of splattered borscht?" asked Clint. "Nat's cooking isn't that bad. It's not going to corrode the floors or give anyone some unheard of virus."

"Could we borrow an intern, please?" asked Steve. "Or a volunteer?"

As his teammates hauled a bewildered nurse off to find the storage cupboard, Tony went and sat beside Pepper. Her beautiful hair was soaked with sweat, but there was still the very Pepper determination in her face. Tony rubbed circles over the back of her hand with his thumb.

"You know, it would help more if you were rubbing counter-pressure circles on my back," said Pepper. "It might encourage your children to stop sulking and make their entrance."

"How are they doing?" asked Tony. "You know, in terms of working out the birth order and everything."

"Natalie's going to be born first," said Pepper. "Look, those are their heartbeats right there. They're trying to come into the world."

"Should their heartrates be fluctuating like that?" asked Tony, looking at the periodic massive spikes on the monitor.

"I asked that too," said Pepper. "They told me that it meant that the babies were trying to work with me to be born. I'm a centimetre and a half off of ideal delivery dilation."

"And will this counter-pressure thing help with that?" asked Tony.

"It will help with the pain and make me want to kill you less," said Pepper.

"Sounds good to me," said Tony. "So what do I do?" The midwife showed him where to place his hands and when to apply pressure. Pepper clutched at his shoulder, he pushed at her lower back, and their pseudo-family hovered in the doorway with various cleaning products and cameras, taking polite photos of the moment.

"You know Pepper," said Tony, somewhere around one in the morning. "I just had the world's biggest epiphany."

"Really," said Pepper, her voice strained. "What might that have been?"

"Sometime in the next twelve hours," said Tony, "we're going to be parents. Of real, live miniature people with brains and needs of their own."

"You just realized that?" said Pepper dryly. "Why am I not surprised."

"I knew it intellectually," said Tony. "It's different when you're sitting in the hospital, you haven't had a drink in over eighteen hours, your hand is on your gorgeous wife's lower back, and you can see how hard everyone but you is working to make it all happen. It just sort of hit me in the arc reactor."

"Most men have a 'Father moment' at this point," the obstetrician assured Pepper. "However, you've just hit ten centimetres, so the two of you really need to push now."

"Tell me when," said Tony. Pepper dug her fingers into Tony's shoulder, and they pushed.

It was twenty after four when the rest of the family was allowed into the birthing room itself. Pepper protectively cradled a blue bundle, glaring at the intruders who dared to come near her baby. Tony cuddled a pink bundle, cooing softly to his daughter. He looked up when Bruce and Natasha crowded around him, looking lost and more than a little awed.

"What's her name?" asked Natasha, gently stroking one of the baby girl's fingers.

"This is Natalie Marie Potts-Stark," said Tony. "I think she's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen."

"Hi there, Natashenka," said Natasha softly. "I'm your aunt Natasha. You're a lucky little girl."

"She's going to be a heartbreaker when she grows up," said Bruce. "Hi Natalie. Welcome to the world sweetheart."

"So who's this then?" asked Steve, gesturing to the baby in Pepper's arms.

"This is Adam Yinsen Potts-Stark," said Pepper proudly, offering Steve the bundle. Steve gently took Adam and held him like he might break. Clint and Darcy peeked at Adam over Steve's shoulders.

"Hey, he's got blue eyes," said Darcy.

"All Caucasian babies have blue eyes when they're born," said Bruce absently. "They'll change over the next few days to whatever colour they're supposed to be."

"I didn't know that," said Clint.

"Alright, everybody out," said the midwife, retrieving Natalie from Tony. "Pepper, Natalie and Adam all need to rest. It's been a rough day for them all."

The assembled Avengers took seats in the waiting room. Clint opened a bottle of the champagne and he and Darcy passed around glasses.

"Here's to Adam Yinsen and Natalie Marie," said Tony, raising his glass. "The newest additions to the Avengers family."

"Here's to Pepper, who worked her ass off for this," Clint chimed in.

"And here's to all of the trouble Adam and Natalie will cause," said Darcy with a wicked grin.

"May they always know that they are loved," said Natasha.


	4. Happy New Year

It's Gonna be a Happy New Year

Pepper and Jane stared at the three sleeping babies, just waiting for one of them to open their eyes and wake up the other two by fussing. When it didn't happen after ten minutes, they both relaxed and let themselves sink into the couch they were sitting on.

"They tell you that being a new mom is tough," said Jane, visibly exhausted. "They never tell you about the worry, the drain of lack of sleep, or how unhelpful a perplexed man can be."

"We probably should have figured that last one out on our own," said Pepper. "I'm so glad for JARVIS and the nanny squad. Taking care of Natalie and Adam, on top of Tony and the company, all by myself would drive me completely insane."

"I'm just glad that Evior is such a quiet baby," said Jane. "I can bring her into meetings and the library without too much of a problem."

"I could never do that with the twins," said Pepper. "They're both noisy, curious little things. I dread the teenage years already."

"So do I," said Jane. "These three are going to drive us all crazy. They already seem to like each other."

"I'm glad about that," said Pepper. "I worry that they'll get their father's social skills and be completely friendless. I think it'll be good for them to have friends from infancy. People to grow up with."

"Me too," said Jane. "I worry about her being different from other kids and being bullied for it. Because she's a demigod."

"Us moms have to stick together," said Pepper. "Otherwise we'll worry ourselves to death."

"Of course," said Jane.

Tony poked his head in the doorway. "Hey, Pepper, how're you feeling?"

"Tired," said Pepper. "Your children are demanding."

"They are Starks," said Tony. "But you're just tired? You don't feel isolated, or hopeless, or like you want to kill anybody?"

"No, Tony," said Pepper, "I have not developed postpartum depression or postpartum psychosis in the four hours since the last time you asked."

"I was just checking," protested Tony.

"Thanks for the concern," said Pepper. "We're all doing fine. The twins made their first friend today!"

"That's great," said Tony. "How are you, Jane?"

"Tired, but pretty content," said Jane. "I'm still getting used to Evior and her moods and different cries."

"That's good," said Tony. "Let us know if anything changes, okay?"

"It's a possibility," said Pepper. "I feel like taking a nap."

"So do I," said Jane. The two of them pillowed their heads into opposite ends of the couch and promptly fell asleep. Tony poked his head in ten minutes later. Seeing that everyone was asleep, he grabbed a blanket from the linen cupboard and threw it over the two sleeping women. He then retrieved a Starkpad from his workroom, took a seat in one of the armchairs, and attempted to work out a baby harness attachment for the Iron Man suit.


End file.
